Living in Sin - Adrienne Rich

She had thought the studio would keep itself;
no dust upon the furniture of love.
Half heresy, to wish the taps less vocal,
the panes relieved of grime. A plate of pears,
a piano with a Persian shawl, a cat
stalking the picturesque amusing mouse
had risen at his urging.
Not that at five each separate stair would writhe
under the milkman's tramp; that morning light
so coldly would delineate the scraps
of last night's cheese and three sepulchral bottles;
that on the kitchen shelf among the saucers
a pair of beetle-eyes would fix her own---
envoy from some village in the moldings . . .
Meanwhile, he, with a yawn,
sounded a dozen notes upon the keyboard,
declared it out of tune, shrugged at the mirror,
rubbed at his beard, went out for cigarettes;
while she, jeered by the minor demons,
pulled back the sheets and made the bed and found
a towel to dust the table-top,
and let the coffee-pot boil over on the stove.
By evening she was back in love again,
though not so wholly but throughout the night
she woke sometimes to feel the daylight coming
like a relentless milkman up the stairs

This poem was written by Adrienne Rich about Alfred Conrad, her husband. She was not married to him at the time, but they were living together. That is why Rich calls the poem 'Living in Sin'. However, by living with a man and having a romantic relationship with him, she was committing a sin of a different kind - she was also lying to herself. (At this point in her life, Rich was not a lesbian, nor thought of herself as one)

Rich starts the poem by again making reference to the fact that she had idealistic notions about what a relationship would be like. She says:

"She had thought the studio would keep itself;
no dust upon the furniture of love."

She had believed that all would be forever well in love and romance, and that it did not need regular maintenance to keep it from going stale.

The next couple of lines in this poem go on to describe the scene of their apartment. She notes all the problems it has, which are symbols for the problems within their relationship. Rich is starting to realise that living with a partner is hard work, and is also not as idealistic as one would first imagine.

Rich makes reference to the efforts of her then boyfriend to maintain the relationship. Her resentment for his lack of interest is clear:

"Meanwhile, he, with a yawn,

sounded a dozen notes upon the keyboard,
declared it out of tune, shrugged at the mirror,
rubbed at his beard, went out for cigarettes;"

Rich, like the stereotypical woman in a failing relationship, is plagued by this as she notes, "while she, jeered by the minor demons" cleans the house and prepares the breakfast while letting "the coffee-pot boil over on the stove." This indicates the stress or upset that this woman (Rich) in the poem must be feeling. Her thoughts are elsewhere as the coffee-pot boils over. She is preoccupied with doubts over the stability of her relationship with this man.

However, she does not leave him. "By evening she was back in love again." She continues to work on this relationship, as the stereotypical woman would, "like the relentless milkman up the stairs" This signifies Rich's struggle to conform to the duties of a girlfriend, wife, woman and mother all her life. Rich explains in her poetry that the decisions she made in relation to her family, career and sexuality were not ones she made lightly. She tried very hard to conform and was relentless in her efforts to be what would have been considered as a normal woman. However, once again the reader can see that this was not possible for Rich. It was not possible for her because, as she says in The Roofwalker; "A life I didn't choose chose me"